Bridesmaid Dresses

You've chosen your bridesmaids, the date is getting closer, now's the time to choose their dresses! If you're not sure where to start, you're not alone. Here are some ideas to make the process go smoothly.

How to choose the dresses

Do you have a fixed idea on colour or style or are you open to ideas? If you have a strong colour theme set already you will probably know what colour the dresses will need to be. You may also have in idea of the style you have in mind.

It might seem like a nice idea to involve your bridesmaids in the choice of dress, but unless you have only one adult bridesmaid, this can become a nightmare, with different colouring, shape and style preference leading to arguments.

A compromise might be for you to pick a colour and then set some boundaries for style - eg '50s tea dress' or 'long and slinky' and then take them to try on a selection. You still could have problems if they don't all like the same dress.

It's often simplest to pick the actual dress yourself. This way, all you need is a try on to check the dress will look good on all your bridesmaids after alterations.

However you choose your dresses, bear in mind the following:

They should compliment your own dress but at the same time be different in colour and style. So choose a colour that is different but toning (not white and ivory together for example) and styles which are not too similar but not too different.
The bridesmaids should be comfortable in them - a very slinky satin dress may not be suitable for anyone with the odd lump or bump. Strapless may not work on anyone with a very large or small bust.
Do you want to differentiate your chief bridesmaid/matron of honour? This can be done with a bigger bouquet or a different colour or style of dress.
How will you accessorise them? Will shoes and jewellery be easy enough to find or do they need to be a hard to find colour?
What age are your bridesmaids? You may need different styles for younger girls. If you have adults and very young children, you could choose different, ivory dresses for the young ones. Perhaps add a coordinating ribbon/headdress to pull them all together.

If you're having problems suiting everyone, would slightly different dresses help? You could add straps for those feeling insecure in strapless, or even go for different styles in the same material.

What to spend?

This will depend on your budget and the number of bridesmaids you are having. You will need to decide what you are paying for out of - dresses, hair, makeup, shoes, jewellery and even hotel accommodation of you would like them to stay with you the night before. This will give you an idea of what you have to spend on the actual dresses.

Tricky issues

It's a good idea to get clear what you expect from your bridesmaids before you ask them if they'd like the role. This way they can politely decline if necessary. If you lay out what you expect them to pay for then it saves arguments later.

Common areas of confusion include:

What about hair/shoes/jewellery/makeup artist? Generally if the bride has decided on the details, then she should pay. If she's leaving you to pick your own, then it's not unreasonable for you to pay too.

Where to buy the dresses

This will depend on:

Your budget
Whether you need one style of dress, or many styles for different ages/shapes in the same material.

Bridal Shop
The most convenient option would be to buy dresses from a bridal shop. This gives you:

Selection of dresses in the same material but different styles - great for bridesmaids of different ages/shapes
An opportunity to try on
Inhouse alterations
Possibly the convenience of dealing with just one shop if you choose them from your wedding dress shop

But, it's the most expensive option and colours can be limited.

The Internet
Either online bridal stores or eBay shops can be a good alternative. You'll benefit from:

Much more reasonable prices
Often a wider range of colours - particularly useful if you are looking for a very specific or unusual colour
Samples of material often available

However, there would be no opportunity to try on - less good if you were going to choose different styles - and a separate dressmaker would be needed for alterations

The High Street
Can be a great option:

All bridesmaids can try the dress on
Often much cheaper than a bridal store
Better at certain times of the year - as Christmas evening/Summer formal wedding wear comes into stores

Not suitable for coordinating adult and child bridesmaids.
A separate dressmaker would be needed for alterations.
There is a possibility that a guest may be wearing the same dress - depending on the formality of the dresses/your wedding.

Finally, wherever you buy your dresses from, you'll need to think about how many trying on/fitting sessions you'll need your bridesmaids for (either together or separately). Check this is feasible before you get too far in the process.